Total Drama Medley!
by RainbowCloudArt
Summary: Don't like some aspects from some of the seasons of Total Drama, but love some of the others? Welcome to Total Drama Medley! The season that combines all of the past ones to hopefully make something spectacular! (All original contestants.)


**Total Drama Medley!**

 **Episode 1: Clique-topia**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama.**

 **Total Drama Medley is meant to bring together some of the best aspects of the past seasons of Total Drama. The only season that won't be featured a lot in the medley is All Stars as I have not watched it and don't think (from what I know) that it brought any new aspects to the table except for how the teams got split up. At the end of each episode, there will be a few random confessionals that don't really relate to any scenes, but are mainly just to introduce the campers more. All new competitors. More Chef. More danger.**

 **Here's Total Drama Medley**

* * *

A very confused looking set with many different aspects comes in view. It has a large campsite on the west end and a small airport in the back. A mutated squirrel hums the beloved theme song after laser blasting a tree in half. All seems to be peaceful until a limo pulls up, running over the squirrel. The front door slams open and out steps Chef in a lovely ball gown.

"I don't get paid enough for this." He yells into the limo before the well know and we'll hated Chris McLean steps out.

"Welcome! Ignore Chef for now because he's about to get a raise." Chris announces with a nervous laugh, looking back at Chef who nods in approval. "Now I'm sure all of you have had favorite seasons throughout this show's wonderfully awesome history! That's why we're creating a mashup of all the seasons for this season! Mostly through Revenge of the Island, at least." Chris steps aside just in time for Chef to slam the accelerator on the limo before he could get run over. "Hey! I'm hosting a show here!" Chris shouts angrily before face palming. Chris turns back to the camera with his signature smile and continues. "As I'm sure you all know, on this show, we'll have a group of campers here competing in the roughest, most grueling tasks you can think of as they all compete for the wonderful prize of one million dollars! After each challenge, a camper will get sent home in the lamosine which will take them to Playa De Losers. This season, sort of similarly to TDA, we will be checking in on the campers who were sent home, but we'll just be going to the Playa and follow them around a bit since Bridgette and Geoff won't agree to come back and do The Aftermath. There will be alliances, enemies, maybe even some romances, and a whole lotta drama! You're watching Total. Drama. Medley!"

* * *

 _*cue theme song "I Wanna be Famous"*_

* * *

"Action!" A voice from off screen yells.

"I hope you all knew all the words to the theme song and were singing your hearts out." Chris says to the audience, a stern look on his face. "Our writers took a really long time writing it." Before he can continue to reprimand the non-singing audience, a bus pulls up beside Chris. "Since we're bringing back past elements, we thought we'd bring in a whole new cast of campers so that they aren't as prepared for the challenges as the originals. This season we have twenty campers. First is Dana!"

"Please tell me you have removed the 'no electronics policy' for good." Dana, a tall dark haired guy with equally as dark skin begs. He's wearing a light green tee shirt with a logo on it and tan cargo shorts. He's also fairly skinny and is wearing rimless glasses.

"Nope! That rule's here for good now!" Chris announces manically. "Unless, of course, you're me. But you aren't, so don't think I'll make exceptions."

"Damnit!" Dana cries out, dropping to his hands and knees as the next contestant steps out.

"Good morning, Lizette!" Chris greets a short pale girl with a long brown side braid.

"There is a craft tent here, right?" Lizette asks curiously, looking around with pale blue eyes while accidentally stepping on Dana's hands as she walks past him without even noticing. Lizette is wearing distressed jeans, steel-toed-combat boots, and a slightly large red flannel button up.

"My… my hands…" Dana whimpers, collapsing to the ground.

Lizette's eyes go wide and she laughs nervously. "Oops. Uh… can we get some ice?" She supplies, looking unsure of what to do.

"Nope! Now here's Jason!" Chris continues, ignoring Dana's cries for help. "What's up, man?" A sporty looking guy with dark blond hair and green eyes steps off the bus and grins. It's easy to know that he's some football player with his letterman jacket and sporty physique.

"Just eyeing up the competition." Jason winks over at Lizette, who rolls her eyes.

"Whatever you say, meathead." Lizette shrugs, forgetting about Dana who's started to crawl over to the side.

Jason frowns at Lizette's comment and walks over to her. "Hey, wait a minute…"

Next, a girl with platinum blonde hair and overly tanned skin walks off the bus. She's wearing a white tank top with orange stains on it and short shorts. "Hayley. You look… orange." Chris comments. "Might want to lay of the self tanner a little bit."

Hayley lets out a bubbly giggle and waves to Chris in all her Jersey bimbo glory. "Thanks so much, Chris! I learned from the best competitor to even come on this show–Anne Maria!"

"Good for you, Hayley. Good for you." Chris shudders as the blonde walks past him. "Next is Victor!" A short tanned guy wearing hipster glasses walks out and immediately puts on some hand sanitizer.

"I'm going to assume right now that I'm going to hate this place, am I correct?" Victor asks in a very snobbish voice.

"It's possible." Chris smiles evilly at Victor. "I mean, you have seen the past seasons, haven't you?"

"None of them, now where can I find a clean place to stand…" Victor wonders to himself as he wanders off to look for a decent piece of ground.

"You go do that yourself because here's Leila!" A girl with thick textured hair and naturally tan skin walks off the bus wearing all of the latest fashion trends.

"How famous will this show make me when I win, Chris?" Leila demands harshly, snapping her fingers at the host.

Chris grins deviously at the fashionista and laughs. "Immensely."

Leila smiles and turns to the rest of the competitors that have come out. "I'll have fun crushing you all!" She announces cheerfully.

"With those tiny twig arms? Please." Lizette scoffs, trying not to smile.

"Twig arms?! Why I'll–" Jason quickly grabs Leila to hold her back and gives Lizette a pointed glare.

"What's with you?" He complains to her as she grins at Leila.

"Now there's some drama! Anyway, please welcome Ricardo!" Chris cheers as a rather tall guy steps off the bus wearing a muscle shirt and jeans.

"Ohmygod! He's so hot!" Hayley exclaims shamelessly.

"I know I am. It's kind of how I work." Ricardo tells her with a smug grin.

"I think you broke my glasses with your hotness…" A voice admits in amazement from the bus.

"Ethyl! So good to see you!" Chris greets the somewhat larger girl–wearing a tie-dyed shirt tucked into her light colored jeans–as she steps off the bus.

"But we've never met before…" Ethyl starts to reason, joining the others.

"Marco!" Chris yells to the bus.

"Polo!" A large auburn haired guy leaps out of the bus. "Quick announcement, party for all the first day campers!"

"Right now? Cuz I'm in!" Jason agrees, fist pumping the air as Marco does a little dance.

"Lame." Leila fake yawns obnoxiously, waving off the boys before turning back to Lizette to continue arguing and forcing Jason to stop his mini party to keep blood from shedding.

"We still have eleven more campers to introduce. Parties may be held later. Got it, dudes?" Chris then turns to the next camper to step off the bus. "Brianna! What's going–"

"Don't try and act all nice. We all know we're going to hate you, so please don't try." A dark complexioned girl with curves holds her hand up to Chris' face, clearly not wanting to take his crap. She's wearing dark grey pants and a purple tee shirt. "The only reason why I'm here is because my sisters thought it would be funny to sign me up, so please don't act like I'm happy they sent me off."

"Alrighty then. You don't have to like me, but you may want to make nice with the others." Chris gestures over to the rest of the group where Jason is still trying to get Lizette and Leila to make peace unsuccessfully and Dana's still on the ground whimpering and Ricardo has decided to become a model for Hayley and Ethyl.

"I think I'm good. I prefer books to people anyway." Brianna says warily as she walks slowly over to the group.

"Now for our resident dancers, Fredrick and Alissa!" Chris announces as the two brunettes step off the bus. Fredrick is pretty muscular and is wearing a tee shirt and jeans while Alissa's a bit more dressed up and has her hair in a high ponytail.

"Did you really have to introduce us like that?" Fredrick demands, glaring at Chris.

"Yes. Yes I did." Chris smirks at the two campers as they join the group.

"Be proud that your a dancer, Ricky." Alissa tells him. "It's something to be proud of."

Marco walks over to join them and immediately smiles. "Yeah, dude! Own your skills! Maybe there will be a talent contest and you two can dance together!"

"Now for camper number thirteen, Luca!" Chris introduces the preppy dressed teen with dark hair. "I hear that you've been student council president since middle school."

Luca shrugs. "I guess, but I don't really see how it's that big of a deal. People just seem to like me, so I thought why not give the people what they want. You know?"

"Oh trust me, I know." Chris agrees before letting out a cackle. Luca raises an eyebrow at this before going to join the others. Victor nods at Luca as he walks past before he decides to start pouring hand sanitizer on the ground.

"Next, we have Quinn!" Chris starts to introduce before a bubbly, short looking redhead runs off the bus towards the other people.

"Thank god I'm finally off this bus. Now I can finally say hi to all my Tweeter followers from the show!" Quinn turns to the camera and starts waving excitedly. "What's up my tweety birds!" She yells excitedly. "Hashtag TDM!" This hashtag immediately shows up on the screen and Chris" grins.

"That sounds like more ratings." He approves as Quinn goes and starts introducing herself to everyone else. "Now here's Zack!"

A short, tan guy steps off the bus and takes a deep breath in through the nose before licking his finger and sticking it to the air. He waits a moment before nodding. "Yesth. Thisth year will be a good stheasthon." Zack remarks, spittle flying out of his mouth as he lisps. Chris cringes at this as Zack walks by.

"Alrighty. That was disgusting. Hopefully Shannon can help–" Chris starts to say, but he gets cut off by a shriek. "Ow! My ears!"

"I'm sorry…" The taller girl with light brown hair and pale skin says. Her fashion is quite the bit outdated and looks like it came straight out of the nineties. "I've just never seen this many people before."

"That's what being homeschooled will get you. Now may I please ask for you to not end up like Ezekiel? He's kind of mutated now, and the show won't be able to handle a lawsuit from your parents." Chris demands, giving the poor girl a very stern look.

"I-I'll try my best?" She tells him, sounding a little fearful.

"Great! Here's Phillip the card trick man!" Chris announces as a very sad looking guy steps off the bus. He's average height and has a shirt with a magician joke on it and jeans on. He's also got brown hair and teal eyes. "What's wrong, Phillip?" Chris asks, feigning sympathy.

"Someone stole my cards before I could pack them." Phillip explains, looking extremely upset by this. "Now I can't show off my magic tricks."

"Don't be such a cry baby, you dweeb." Leila taunts, giving up on Lizette who's now arguing with Jason. "We didn't want to see your dumb card tricks anyway."

"Uh, I don't think you should be making decisions for everyone solely based on what you want." Luca interrupts. "Because I know for a fact that I actually would love to see card tricks if he had the tools he needed."

"Thanks man." Phillip sniffles, smiling at Luca.

"No problem, dude." Luca pats Phillip reassuringly on the back.

"Now it's time for the one, the only: Helen!" Chris announces dramatically as a blonde girl struts off the bus and walks straight up to Lizette.

"I like your style." She states promptly before walking off to someone else.

Lizette is quiet for a moment before turning back to Jason with a raised eyebrow. She then turns back towards Helen. "Thanks?" She calls, but Helen's already commenting on someone else's fashion.

"Are we almost done yet? I need to go cleanse myself." Victor announces frantically. "And the state in Dana is really starting to bug me. He looks like he's been rolling around in the dirt."

"We're almost done introducing everyone. Don't worry Mr. Clean. We just have two more campers to introduce. Brandon!"

Brandon hops out of the bus, skateboard in hand and his blonde hair properly windblown. "Time to wipe out the competition with my mad skills!" He cheers, smashing his skateboard on the ground. "Oops!"

"And Olive!" A small girl with an olive complexion and short dark hair steps off the bus wearing cat-shaped glasses and a lot of Hello Cat! attire.

"Hey guys, I'm–" Olive starts to say, but she trips and falls in a conveniently placed mud puddle splashing mud all over Victor and Ricardo.

"AHH!" They both shout, although Victor is a bit more fearful than Ricardo who just decides to work with it.

"Time to split you into your teams!" Chris cheers. Victor runs in front of the camera and starts protesting, but Chris ignores him. "Glad you volunteered, Victor! Please step over to the big tree."

"I need to clean myself!" He yells frantically, but Chris holds a hand up.

"As I call your names, please join Victor McCleanFreak over there. Dana, Hayley, Ethyl, Brianna, Fredrick, Zack, Shannon, Phillip, and Olive. You will now be known as the 'Geeky Gophers'!" Chris yells as he tosses Victor a sign that depicts a quite nerdy looking gopher, but Victor promptly tosses it away and Brianna catches it.

Brianna looks down at the sign and back at Chris. "Are you sure this team is a good idea?" She asks, and Chris nods to her.

"I'm positive. I'm definitely getting more ratings with these teams." He laugh maliciously before pointing at everyone else. "Everyone else: Marco, Leila, Ricardo, Jason, Lizette, Helen, Alissa, Luca, Quinn and Brandon. You are the Bangin' Bass!" He tosses a sign with a cool looking bass to Brandon, who nods in approval.

"Bangin'. Nice." He comments, showing the sign to the rest of the team.

"Uh… Chris? Aren't these teams a little bit… unfair?" Ethyl asks, looking over at the other team–particularly at Ricardo. "They're going to cream us."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Besides, it'll create more drama! And more drama means more ratings!" Chris lets out another crackly before straightening up. "Now then, you will be staying on the campsite this season over there, and you'll get your grub and confessional time on the film lot. Challenges can be held in any of the past locations we've ever done relating to any of the themes we've covered. Cool? Good. Now why don't you all take your stuff to your cabins and make some friends. We'll meet back at the cafeteria in one hour! Go!"

* * *

 **Confessional (Leila)**

"Okay, so Lizette needs to be off this show now. She has some comment to say to everything and it's really f*cking annoying. I don't even know why Jason is trying to make friends with her because she seems like a real b*tch."

* * *

 **Confessional (Dana)**

"Okay… so I'm here to redeem myself a little. I think Lizette may have really injured my hands with those steel toed boots of her's, so that's why I freaked out so much. Okay?"

* * *

 **Confessional (Quinn)**

"Hashtag Team Quinn! WOO!"

* * *

 **(Geeky Gophers)**

"I stho call top bunk!" Zack yells as the teams make their way over to the cabins.

"Whatever you want, dude." Fredrick shrugs. "Just so long as I can get a bottom bunk."

"Wanna share a bunk?" Phillip asks. Fredrick nods as the guys walk into their side.

Dana looks around and notices that someone's missing. "Uh… where's Victor?"

"I think he's washing up." Olive tells him very matter of factly.

"Like, ohmygod! I should totally get a bunk near the window so I can work on my tan!" Hayley exclaims excitedly.

Shannon looks Hayley up and down before sighing. "I think your tan is fine for now, Hayley. I mean, you're already tanner than me."

"And me." Ethyl cuts in, looking at her own arm than Hayley's. "If you want, I'll lend you some of my super strong sunscreen!"

Hayley practically hisses as she backs away from Ethyl. "Keep that poison away from me!"

"Sunscreen isn't poison!" Olive defends, pulling a tube out of her bad. "It can even help you look younger!" She then proceeds to squirt some out onto Hayley, who promptly screams and takes off running to find where Victor is washing up so she can get the sunscreen off.

Brianna sighs and turns to Shannon. "It's going to be a long summer." Shannon nods in agreement as they walk in. The girls quickly choose their bunks before Olive and Hayley get back.

"Hey!" Ethyl suddenly exclaims. "Chris never told **us** what kind of challenges we'll have! What are we supposed to expect now?"

"You… you do make a great point." Brianna agrees, frowning.

* * *

 **Confessional (Brianna)**

"Chris better not be trying to give us the slip! I did my research and I know **exactly** what kind of game this is. A game that I **really** don't want to be playing."

* * *

 **Confessional (Victor)**

"I-I think I finally got all of that putrid mud off of me." A fly then lands on Victor's nose and he screams.

* * *

 **(Bangin' Bass)**

The whole team is pretty quiet on the walk over to their further cabin. A scream is heard coming from the abandoned film lot and Brandon laughs. "Wonder what startled that loser so much." Brandon laughs a bit at the torment he knows someone must be going through.

Helen shakes her head at Brandon and sighs. "Your sense of humor is not very trendy, might I say." So far, she has spent the entire walk over either criticizing or commenting on the entire team's fashion.

"Can you please f*cking **stop** commenting on everyone's f*cking 'fashion'!" Leila yells, throwing her hands up in the air. "We don't care if you like it or not!" Helen glares at Leila and remains silent.

Quinn gasps dramatically at this little tiff. "Hashtag drama!" She whispers excitedly.

"Shut **up**!" Leila shrieks, scaring the rest of the team. "Tweeter's stupid and annoying!" Quinn faints when Leila says this, dropping to the ground like a dead bird. The rest of the team joins Helen to glare at Leila and she just shrugs. "What? We all know it's true."

* * *

 **Confessional (Lizette)**

"Okay, so I do agree that Tweeter's pointless and should probably be with the geeks as the teams seem to be split up based on popularity or something like that. However, Leila didn't have to be so b*tchy to Quinn. I at least know when to keep quiet."

* * *

 **Confessional (Helen)**

"Leila is most **certainly** not trendy when it comes to personality."

* * *

 **Confessional (Quinn)**

She's sobbing in the confessional as a hand reaches over to hand her a tissue. "Th-thanks." She blows her nose loudly into the tissue before taking a deep breath and looking right at the camera. "L-Leila is a hashtag drama queen."

* * *

Brandon shakes his head and laughs as he watches the girls' drama. "Man. This season's going to be **way** too easy." He walks into the cabin a drops his bag on one of the bunks. "While they're busy fighting we can be the strategists. We'll take out those weak Geeks and win this thing with Bass on top!"

"But the Gophers aren't–" Luca starts to argue, but he's very quickly cut off by Marco who let's out a cheer.

" **Yeah!** Let's crush the other team into the dirt!" Marco cheers, fist pumping the air. Luca let's out a sigh and frowns.

"Fine. Don't listen to the guy who knows politics." Luca grumbles and the loudspeaker goes off.

" _Alright, maggots! Time for you to get your butts to the dining hall!"_ Chefs voice yells through the already loud megaphone. Both teams run out and dash for the film set.

"Why's everything… so spread out!" Marco yells exhaustedly as he starts to fall behind.

* * *

 **(The Dining Hall)**

"Now, I'm sure you've all seen this show before, so if any of you start questioning me, it'll be the boathouse for you!" Chef announces angrily, giving everyone a hard glare.

"It's not like he'll actually do it." Lizette mutters to Brianna with a smirk on her face, but Brianna just smiles and shakes her head.

"What was **that** , soldier‽ I couldn't hear you!" Chef screams right in Lizette's face and she shrinks back a little bit, almost tripping over one of the benches.

"Nothing, sir!" She shouts back quickly, saluting to add to the whole army gimmick. Chef raises an eyebrow before walking back into the kitchen and Lizette sighs in relief.

* * *

 **Confessional (Lizette)**

"So I already knew Chef had problems when I sent in my audition for the show, but I guess you almost have to see it to believe it." Lizette shrugs. "But who cares about Chef, Chris seriously messed up with the teams if he thinks I fit in with the popular kids! For example, I think Brianna and Shannon seem really cool! I bet the only reason I'm with the popular kids is because I have an attitude that the prissy privileged preps just can't handle or something."

* * *

 **Confessional (Chris McClean)**

"Actually, Lizette is with the prissy preps because she's too cool to be with the geeks. **duh!** " Chris lets out a manic cackle before stepping out.

* * *

Once Chef is back in his station, he uses his ladle to gesture towards the far table. "Gophers to the far table. Bass to the near table." He announces harshly as everyone lines up to get food. "And if I hear any complaining about food, you are **definitely** staying a multitude of nights in the boat house." As he finishes speaking, he dumps some mystery meat onto Zack's plate. "Enjoy."

"Thisth isth stho cool!" Zack cheers, practically skipping over to his teams table.

"Uh, more like 'not'." Leila grumbles to Alissa, the only girl on the Bass team who doesn't completely hate Leila yet.

"Did I hear someone say 'boathouse'?" Chef yells and Leila immediately goes pale.

"No." She denies immediately and Chef nods. As all the campers are fed, Chris steps in and laughs.

"It seems like tension is building here at the film lot and the campers already seem to hate us, as it was expected. Next time on TDM the campers will face their first challenge and the first elimination will be made. Some will win epically, but of course there will be losers. Some may even be sent to the boathouse. You'll find it all here on Total. Drama! **Medley!** "

"And cut!"

* * *

 **Extras**

* * *

 **Confessional (Jason)**

"Lizette seems like a nice girl. I think she might have a few issues with me and Leila, but I'm sure she'll warm up to me eventually." Without pausing, he quickly winks to the camera. "To Leila? Probably not."

* * *

 **Confessional (Fredrick)**

"Okay, so I think Chris is confused… I'm not some prissy ballet dancer like Alissa is. I do rhythm style tap which is way cool. Most of the music I use is hip-hop and rap for crying out loud!"

* * *

 **Confessional (Quinn)**

"#TDM #TeamQuinn #BanginBass #BestSeason #TotalDrama #HateLeila #WTFisWrongWithLeila #OMGIHateHer #ThisSassMasterIsAboutToKillSomething #ImGonnaBeatThisGirl #SheIsntEvenPretty #ThatPrizeIsSoMine #HowCanINotWin #TeamQuinn–"

* * *

 **Confessional (Lizette)**

"So… I'm probably going to end up in the boat house at least once or twice. I only say this because I don't think Chef likes my attitude." Lizette let's out a nervous laugh. "Anyway, the camp doesn't seem too bad now that I've been here a day… and at least most of the guys here aren't **that** bad looking…"

* * *

 **Confessional (Shannon)**

"So… Brianna seems really nice. She even offered to let me borrow some of her books so that's cool."

* * *

 **Confessional (Lizette)**

"Like Brandon or Jason? I dunno… I would say Ricardo but something about him seems a bit off. And besides, Jason's an annoying meathead and I think the only thing Brandon cares about is skateboarding." She lets out a sigh and frowns to the camera. "Why do all attractive guys have to be so annoying."

* * *

 **(The Film Lot)**

Marco walks forward and holds out a bottle of soda. "To the new campers of Total Drama!" He announces and all the campers hold up a soda. "May the coolest camper win!" everyone from both teams cheer and a party to end all parties ensues. Ricardo dramatically rips his shirt off and a few girls faint at this while most of the guys just roll their eyes. Jason tries to find his way over to Lizette and chat her up, but freezes when he sees Chef coming.

"What are you maggots all doing out‽ Get to your cabins right now!" He yells angrily, chasing off the campers quickly. Jason quickly catches up to Lizette and smiles.

"Hey." He says with a smile. Lizette nods before suddenly stopping.

"Where's Quinn?"

* * *

 **Confessional (Quinn)**

"#Drama # **Total** Drama #HelensSoSweet #ILoveHer #Bae #OMGShesSoGreat #SameTeam #SoExcite–"

* * *

 **Author's Note: So I tried to adopt a Total Drama story from my friend Silent a while back, but it was really hard for me to write since I didn't feel like I had a firm grasp of the characters. So in this story, it's all characters I came up with, so I have not fear of ruining someone else's character. I will probably not upload more of this too soon as I basically leave for college in a week, but this is just something I started on the flight to South Africa, so hopefully I can finish it.**

 **Thanks for reading and please review if you have any challenge suggestions. (Please only suggest challenges that have already been done in the show because this "season" is all about my own take on all the seasons.)**

 **Until next time**

 **~RCA**


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